How to Build Your Self-Esteem? A Psychologist Explains

Self-Esteem is essential for a person’s psychological health, human growth, and life satisfaction. Self-Esteem is different from self-confidence because self-confidence refers to the ability to do something successfully whereas Self-Esteem is the ability to value yourself. Self-Esteem is the highest motivator for achieving something. People with Self-Esteem are active, expressive, and can trust others and one’s self. Low Self-Esteem can bring hurdles in our achievements, such as a person thinks about himself that he is incompetent, and cannot achieve anything valuable. So this thought put a major barrier in the way of his achievements. As our thoughts and perceptions affect the way how one feels or behaves.

The question is, how you can recognize low Self-Esteem

The answer to this question is quite easy that a person with low Self-Esteem will utter negative statements about himself such as, I am worthless, and no one loves me. People with low Self-Esteem exaggerate the negative situation, he will see the only black or white side of a situation and reading other’s mind without knowing the whole perspective

Ways of Building Self-Esteem

1. Love Yourself

Is it important to view yourself in a better way? Yes of course, because you are as important as others. For this, you have to love yourself when you start loving yourself, it leads to a healthy life. It will bring happiness, increased motivation, better physical and mental health and you will feel more secure. When you ignore yourself, it causes low Self-Esteem, frustration, low mood, and stress. Loving yourself means that you have a standard for yourself.

2. Know Yourself and Qualities

Knowing one’s self and qualities are wisdom. Learn about your identity and personality. Acknowledge yourself, and learn new things about yourself, brings unique qualities in a person.

An example of knowing about one’s qualities is that your friend is emotionally disturbed and he calls you and talks for half an hour, you listened to him carefully, by this way you will find out that you are a good listener, caring, empathetic person. When you start knowing yourself, you can be a better decision making person, you will easily solve life problems.

3. Challenge Thought Pattern

Thoughts run in mind and we are unaware of these thoughts. When you feel bad about these thoughts it is called “Negative Automatic Thoughts”. For this, you have to question your thought pattern to find out the more positive view while looking at both good and bad aspects. This will leads to build Self-Esteem.

An example of this would be a person returning a faulty washing machine to the shopkeeper and he thinks that the shopkeeper will think that I am pathetic and will not exchange the machine. To get off this negative thinking, challenge yourself to see both positive and negative aspects of yourself.

4. Change Behavior Pattern

Do beliefs affect your behavior? Definitely yes, when you think that you are not worthwhile, you cannot do anything well, it leads to an the emerging feeling of anxiousness and this anxiousness leads towards the behavior of not express yourself even though you possess that potential, this behavior then leads to physical symptoms of feeling restlessness, upset, lack of energy.

You will understand better through this image.

To change your thought pattern, you need to take risks and face disappointments and open the door of challenges and adventures. Develop this habit and practice consistently, you will start to see improvement in your Self-Esteem.

5. Make List of Things You Feel Good About

• Make a list of your strengths, such as your courage, creativity, hard work, etc.
• Make a list of your accomplishments, such as completing a Bachelor’s degree, getting admission to a computer course, etc.
• Make a list of the things that you admire about yourself, for example, good terms with your friends and family, a healthy lifestyle, your spirituality level, etc.

6. Reinforce Positive Image

You can reinforce your self-image by writing positive things about yourself. Set a timer for ten minutes and write about your talents, attributes, and achievements, if you want to emphasize a word or sentence you can write it over and over again. After ten minutes, read out aloud the paper, you can read it several times. Whatever you wrote, can be shared with your supportive friends and family members. It is a different and positive way of thinking about yourself, it will help in building your Self-Esteem.

7. Appreciate Yourself

Take a blank paper, and write on it that I like myself because I have loving family and friends, I am faithful to my partner, I do not cheat, I pray, etc. After that start reading what you have written, but do not deny what has been written about yourself, accept positive statements and read it several times daily.

8. Self-Esteem Books

Visit the library and read interesting books about Self-Esteem. It is a healthy exercise to boost Self-Esteem. According to research, people who read for 30 minutes have 20% more satisfaction in life than non readers.

9. Stop Your Inner Critic

Everyone has a negative voice in his head that causes low Self-Esteem and demotivate you. Painful experiences of life create an inner critic. Whenever a negative thought pops up in your mind, do not accept these thoughts and always say out loud “STOP”.

10. Learn to Say “No”

Act assertively, saying no does not mean you are a bad person. Being an adult you can make your own choices and know the difference between right and wrong. When something costs your productivity then you have the right to say “No”. Whenever you have to say “No” to someone, say it politely that the other person does not hurt by your words.

These two letters can save you time and gives you the power and strength to prioritize yourself and life. Whenever you say “Yes” to someone you say “no” to yourself unconsciously. Self-Esteem does not build by magic or miracles, you will have to work hard for building Self-Esteem.

Statistical Facts about Self-Esteem

Here are some statistical facts about Self-Esteem

Satisfaction Life satisfaction is significantly predicted by Self-Esteem (Chen, Cheung, Bond & Leung, 2006).

Boys with a high level of Self-Esteem, initiate sex two and a half more than boys with low Self-Esteem whereas girls can delay sex three times more than girls with low Self-Esteem levels (Spencer, Zimet, Aalsma, & Orr, 2002).

Violence, school dropouts, suicide, low level of academic achievement, and teenage pregnancy is related to Low levels of Self-Esteem (Misetich & Delis-Abrams, 2003).

Conclusion

You can build your Self-Esteem through consistency and hard work. It will bring courage to try new and creative things in life, it will teach you how to overcome a difficult situation and make you successful in your life. Having Self-Esteem have many positive outcomes for a person’s self and the betterment of society.

Thanks for reading.

I hope that you will find this piece of writing helpful.